Dark Side
by moonshadow2012
Summary: Everybody's got a dark side. If I love yours, will you love mine? The trade for Ben doesn't go so smoothly.


" _ **I put a bullet in my mouth and the Other Guy spat it back out."**_

 __ **Bruce Banner,** _ **The Avengers**_

He hurt her. Ben sees the pain in Mal's eyes right before she storms off. He put it there. He just wants her to be real with him. Why can't she see that she was enough just as she was?

"Great job, Ben. Yell at her. It's not like she's torturing herself trying to be who she thinks you want her to be or anything."

He _knows_ he can't be rough with Mal like that. Especially with how vulnerable she is right now. She betrayed her own mother for Auradon – for _him._ She spent her whole life needing to prove she's worthy of love by being who her mother wanted her to be and she still chose him and he really likes – he _loves_ her for it.

He _can't_ lose her to the abyss inside her. He can't lose her because she thinks she needs to prove herself to him. He just wants her to know he'd be happy with a PB&J sandwich. He can't tell at her like that, though. After all she's been through, Mal deserves to be treated gently and lovingly. All Ben wants to do is be the man who can do that for her.

The first time Ben saw his mother cry, he was five years old. His father is a good man most of the time, but sometimes it's like the curse is still there beneath the surface. (Sometimes Ben catches himself thinking his father is still a beast on the inside.) His father yelled at his mother that night until she burst into tears, but the next morning she was as cheerful as always. She told her son that sometimes daddy got upset and they just had to forget about it. So when Ben was eight and a split second of rage left claw marks across his chest, he smiled through the pain and told his father it was okay as hands that were human once more trembled while spreading Fairy Godmother's ointment over the wound.

For a long time, Ben's sole purpose was to not be his father. He figured out why the Isle existed by the time he was thirteen. He'd seen his father trying so hard to make what he'd done better that he created a superficial paradise for his Belle to live in. The removal of the villains had just been another act of penance.

Around the time Ben finally decided neither he nor his mother should have to pay for his father's mistakes with their silence, he decided the Lost children shouldn't have to either. That was the most recent night his father lost his temper. That was the night Ben lost his. It's funny how something that once drove two people apart can bring them together.

Ben has never understood his father's manic desire to make things better by any means (both necessary and otherwise) more than when Evie tells him Mal went back to the Isle. He's never understood how his mother is able to see the good in someone who held her captive more than when Uma tells him how unwanted he made her feel. He's never wanted to die more than when Harry plunges his hook into his stomach.

He hears Mal screaming something over the horrible droning in his ears, but not clearly enough to make out what she's saying. He wishes he was the kind of man who could die in her arms with one last profession of love. He wishes he could end up as nothing more than a fond memory of a tragic first relationship. He's not that kind of man, and all he can think about as his body starts to tremble with suppressed magic is what a hypocrite he is for telling Mal off for keeping secrets.

Ben's beast form is about seven feet tall and he throws Uma's pirates around like rag dolls. His mind is clouded with rage and he's barely able to keep himself from attacking his own four lost ones along with the rest of them. People are screaming in pain and fear and it's because of him. What kind of a king does he think he can be when he has this monster inside him? He was a fool to think he could ever be worthy of the crown, to think he could ever be better than his father.

Above all the noise, he still hears Mal's voice. She's screaming, too. It takes him a long time to realize she's not screaming because of him – she's screaming _for_ him.

"BEN! BEN, CALM DOWN! IT'S OKAY NOW. I'M HERE, YOU'RE OKAY. YOU'RE OKAY, WE'RE ALL SAFE."

He finally listens to her and starts to feel dizzy. She catches him and lowers him to the ground as he shrinks back to his human height. She puts his head on her lap and strokes his hair.

"It's okay, Ben. We're okay. We're all okay. It's over. It's over. You're okay. I'm here."

He doesn't know if she learned the mantra from someone or if the words just run through human blood for times such as these. All he knows is that they're the most beautiful words he's ever heard. He wishes he could just stay like this forever. He wishes he could close his eyes and just live in this moment where he feels loved instead of feared. He knows he can't. Mal deserves the chance to walk away while she still can. (He's afraid if he waits too long he might never let her go.)

"I'm sorry, Mal." He says. "I was mad at you for hiding something from me when I've been hiding this from you. I just…I just didn't want you to know the truth. That I'm a monster."

"Ben!" Mal gasps, half-shocked and half-amused. "I've known a lot of monsters in my day, and you are nothing like them."

"It happens when I get angry." Ben looks up at her, hopeful yet desperate for her to save herself. "What if I get mad at you?"

Mal smiles like he's said something hilarious. "You do know I can turn into a dragon, right?" She laughs. "I think I'll be okay."

"This isn't something to laugh about, Mal!" Ben sits up and glares at this woman he loves so much. "I could hurt you! You should leave while you still can."

Mal's mouth drops open in disbelief. "So, what? You think that just because you're not perfect you're not worthy of love? What have you been doing all this time with me then? 'Cause I've got news for you, Your Highness, I'm not exactly the purest pearl in the sea."

"Mal," Ben reaches out to stroke her face. "Everything you've done, you've done for love. That doesn't make you a bad person."

"And occasionally getting angry and turning into a giant shaggy mutt doesn't make you a bad person, either." She snaps.

Ben looks at her in awe. "You amaze me." He murmurs. "You adapt to every situation you're faced with and you triumph."

"Well, my Lady of the Court career isn't exactly going well, and it hasn't even started yet." She points out ruefully.

"I have an idea." Ben says. "Why don't you and all your friends come back to Auradon, and we can all be imperfect together? How does that sound?"

Mal smiles – a real, genuine, open smile. "I think that sounds perfect." She says.

It's the first time Ben's felt hope in a long time. He's still amazed that so much good in his life can come from a woman with so much sadness and darkness in hers. She's showed him how it feels to be loved like you're worth everything, and how to want to love with everything you have. She's showed him it's okay to be a little less than what people want you to be. Most importantly, she's showed him what kind of king – and man – he wants to be, and who he wants to be king for. He just prays that, someday, he'll be able to be a hero to her like she is to him.


End file.
